have you ever felt how it is to be on a crossroad and not really know which direction to take? i'm sure this happens to almost everyone. and naturally, one would choose and end up someplace else. hopefully, a place that makes one feel he has made the right choice.
i have been on this one crossroad for almost 5 years. not that i haven't moved an inch from where i'm standing now. believe me, i have made decisions to take a path. yes decisions. several attempts to leave that crossroad. and yes, a path. meaning taking just one path every single time.
well, to be fair to my stupid self, i have tried taking the other direction. but i wasn't brave enough to go that far. i would always find myself retracing my steps and going back to being as confused as before. i even decided to wait for one year on that crossroad, hoping that the roads would change by the time i finally make the decision again.
over and over, i try to make the right decision. each time trying to come up with a good reason why i should take that same path again. yes, it was on this path where i have had the taste of unfaithfulness, unwed mothers, suicide attempts, nasty confrontations, palpitations, hyperventilations, and the sweetness of cursing your heart out.
but i was always drawn to this path. because in my heart, i know, this has led me to the greatest love of my life.
i know. i know. some of you may be crying in exasperation. how stupid can one get?! but think again. i wouldn't be on this crossroad if i was that stupid (as you put it) to stay on that path.
and today, i have just decided to take the other path. i know my greatest love is still on that path. but i'm taking my chances anyway. maybe someday, he will decide to leave his path, and follow me.
