Today, I was feeling unusually depressed.
About work, about life.
Felt so alone.
Was not happy about work.
Thought about the possibility of resigning.
But how do I pay my bills?
Thought about my crooked relationship with my son's dad.
I was in the middle of reality and dream.
Depression was making my head ache too much it felt like it was starting to numb. Was I losin' it?
I put on my earphones.
Holding my self as if somebody was hugging me.
I cried to this song:
There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me
I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me
Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key
Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me
(Secretly I imagined dancing to this song on my wedding, my dad dancing with me first, telling me how happy he is that I have found the right one for me, then my husband smiling down at me and stroking the tears off my face.)
And then I read this quote from Bono:
It’s such an extraordinary thing, music. It is how we speak to God finally – or how we don’t. It’s the language of the spirit. If you believe that we contain within our skin and bones a spirit that might last longer than your time breathing in and out – if there is a spirit, music is the thing that wakes it up. And it certainly woke mine up. And it seems to be how we communicate on another level.
And suddenly I felt better.
I started dancing again to the beat of the songs.
I have reconnected to the true love of my soul.
Music is such food that quenches a thirsty soul.
